Mind games

The sun is beating down on her blond head, its relentless rays of heat are warming her neck, numbing her into a dazed position. The grass is green and soft between her toes, and the ant has been scurrying along the brownish blade of grass stuck on her knee. Now, it is hesitating to move one way or the other. If it moves to the right - it has already tried - it will be confronted with blond spikes, and to the left, it might have to go back to where it has come from. Now that wouldn't do. It wants to elevate itself, its antennas tentatively poking the air. A very hopeful creature. Its near blindness a blessing. It isn't aware of having climbed up a little girl's leg.
Eventually, as with all simple creatures, it will make a decision, and never think twice about whether taking a right hand turn was the beginning of its miserable life.
She is disappointed the ant has left her alone, and she remains frustrated and unwilling to move. The sun is cruel to her neck and arms now, it doesn't want her to stay put, or listen to herself breath, watch the clouds move into shapes. It summons her to pull herself up, to think of pulling her dress over her knees, to brush off the grass from her legs, and to brutalize her senses into a different alertness: listening to others breath, speak, give orders, stare, point, mock and responding to these orders, and thinking, yes, I will do this or no, I will refuse this order, and getting ready to confront whatever this decision entails. And so an so forth. Tiresome.
She hasn't moved. The silence in her clear mind has been broken however, and she is mad at the ant for having disrupted her daze with a life changing decision. Why was it so simple for him?
Tomorrow is a big day her mother had said.
She is in a trance, only her mind exists and it has been brought to a halt along with the body. She has convinced herself that there will be no moon, no snow, no rain - because time has stopped. And the moment is forever. The mind game is stronger than the phases of the moon. No decisions can be made when time has stopped, and no decisions shall be made until the mind has agreed.
For now, leave her there, quiet, untouched by decisions, regrets, joys, struggles and doubt. Let her remain in that space between.

The caterpillar

I was sitting in an old brown wheelbarrow
When a red caterpillar starting climbing up my leg
I shut my eyes and turned them to the blue of the sky
But I heard it call my name in a sweet lemon green tone
Its cry was so very irresistible
I let it climb my hand
But it faded into a smear of blood
And my yellow tears colored the remains orange
The color of the leaves burning into my gray skirt.

What is the Truth?
Why do we hide it or flaunt it?
Why do we transform it,
and sometimes flee in horror from it?
Why is it that even though
The truth is different for every one of us,
It is but one word? And an authoritarian voice
for some of us?
The truth?

You're garbage

Imagination, art, useless creativity is for the weak. Why bother imagining your life, if you can make your dreams come true - you can put your mind to it if you have enough ambition and self-esteem. And why daydream? It makes you lose all this precious time you could be using to accomplish great things. You are never remembered for what you dream but for what you do or did. That's a fact. Now don't get me wrong, one must have enough imagination to "envision" one's future. I'm talking about those who dream their lives away, who imagine without a specific goal. I can't stand inertia, in particular, people who have no excuses like the disabled or the mentally ill - although I sometimes have my doubts on their will power. I guess what I'm saying is that you will not get any better at who you are and what you do as long as you imagine your life, other people's lives and the lives they could have had, or most certainly have in your crooked mind. Keep up with the world, it's moving, and fast. There are no more "ifs" and "whys", think "Be who you are" and "Reach your goal" and "Accomplish". My all time favorite is "Become who you are", which is obviously targeting a smart, able population. It's simple, it's straightforward, and it excludes weak minds.
There's no imagining, there's reaching, accomplishing, progressing, creating. Becoming yourself will make the world turn around. Don't stay put or it will spin you off like a piece of garbage.